A Crack

I've hurt the one I cherish and treasure most with a little white lie. You can say that I lied to you. Actually, I didn't lie to you. I never did. I just hid it from you because I did not wanted you to be thinking too much. I treasure you, I cherish you, I love you. You asked why didn't I thought that you would be angry if I didn't tell you. If I did, don't you think it would make you start thinking about alot of things? I did not want you to be thinking about it that is why I did not tell you.

I feel really hurt with the things that you have wrote in your blog. Did you think I felt any better when the one I love is hurt? and most importantly, hurt by ME?? I never felt that worst before in my entire life. Its the one thing that I have regretted most in my 21 years of living. You do have every right to be angry at me. But I just really hope that you would not doubt the love I have for you.

God has blessed me with a family, an okay financial, and I definately feel blessed that I have got you in my life. I'm really breaking down lately due to my studies and my family problems. I know I might not deserve your care. Its just my nature to care for everyone. I'm sorry if this nature of mine has hurt you. Sum Yee asked me to go for a drink with her because she wanted to talk to someone as she was very down. I know you will say "Of all people why you? and why must you entertain her call??" I don't know. Maybe I just do not know how to use the word "NO" to people when I should.

I know I've done you wrong. I regret it. I truly do. I know no matter how many sorry's I say or no matter what I do, it can never change the fact that I have left a crack on your heart. But what about my heart? have you not cracked it before? In fact, you have once shattered it into pieces before. But never has it once came into my mind that I should blame you. You've hurt me very deeply with your words. My nerves were trembling, my hands were shaking. I was really upset to why you would come to a conclusion like that. I'm really sad. I have never lied to you, and I never will. All I did was hide it from you.

You asked me "Did you go out with any other girls alone before lately?" I could've chosen to lie to you and say "No, I didn't. Not after I have gotten you." NO! Instead I answered you with the truth by saying "Yes, I did. It was just recently." And yes, I went out to have a drink with her a few days ago. I was still thinking of a way to tell you. But you asked me before I was able to think of a way to tell you. But I couldn't lie to you because I promised, and I kept it. You can say that I might be twisting my words. But I really didn't lie to baby. I hope that you would not doubt the love I have for you, and how important you are to me. Its just like how the fish needs water. I'm sorry if I hurt you or made you cry. I really am...

P.S: You have every right to feel that whatever I said is an excuse. I just wanted to let you know the whole story.